Kali, the Hindu Dark Goddess of Time and Destruction is startling figure of carnage. The gruesome necklace of heads around her neck drips blood onto her bare breasts as she stands poised for battle or for a carnal embrace. In the West many misinterpret those heads as human. But in actuality they are the heads of demons that she has slain. Her unabashed sense of self has always had a great appeal, especially nowadays to a new generation of women who refuse to be silenced, held back or held down. But in my case, my peers still struggle to rein me in every now and then when I can’t contain my righteous anger. Throughout my own life I have suffered abuse first as a child and later as an adult. But today abuse seems to have come out of the closet and become the standard bearer for the Patriarchy as it begins to struggle in very public death throes around the world. Remember the remark about “pussy grabbing” that was almost dismissed as “locker room talk?” This is the Patriarchal tactic of invoking the myth that women actually want to be “pussy grabbed” by rich, entitled white men. As I recall it didn’t go over well, did it?
Mea culpa. When Fox News in Chicago reported that Angela Ferguson grabbed a beer stein and fought off her attacker (rapist) I experienced a new kind of “feels” that I identify as “power.”
“When I kept hitting him, hitting him, he wouldn’t give up. He wouldn’t give up. I kept beating him, and seen blood everywhere. They say he had to have three surgeries on his head,” Ferguson said.
Somehow Ferguson pushed Grice out of her room, but she said he broke the door down and got back in. That’s when she grabbed a crowbar from under her bed and fought him off once and for all.
I’ve been molested and so let me make something perfectly clear, if I had the opportunity to fight off my molester with a crow bar I may have suffered more physical harm, but the emotional toll would have been far less. In fact if I had the opportunity to bash in his head in self defense I guarantee you that I would have slept soundly that night. Because I’m a woman I already know that some of you are cringing with distaste at my confession, but I’d like to tell my sisters out there who have been raped or molested that wanting to beat down the ass of your rapist/attacker is perfectly normal. And please don’t tell me that being molested doesn’t warrant a proper head bashing. It’s not going to work.
In fact it’s much healthier if you embrace it and accept it instead of internalizing some missed placed guilt over it being “your fault.” This is what I identify as “Decapitating the Demons.” Accept the fact that you want blood, revenge and retribution. Do something pro-active. Buy a gun and learn how to use it responsibly. Take a class in martial arts and self defense. Put cameras up around your home. Carry a stun gun or pepper spray in your purse. Don’t just roll over and take it. You don’t have to accept the cultural brainwashing that we must submit to being victims in order to be “good” people. I would not “turn the other cheek” if a rapist’s cock was being shoved up my ass. Would you?
I have my own “necklace of demon heads” and I add a new one every couple of years. I’m not proud of it, but I’m also not ashamed of it. It is there to remind me that I cannot rely on someone else, the police, the government a boyfriend or even a stranger to protect me. And there’s something more. In Kali’s hand she holds her newest severed head without shame, and without malice. She just holds it and we can see it’s frightened eyes. Think of it as a “deterrent.”
Listen carefully now.
It’s okay for people to know that you are not someone who is going to be an easy target, a willing victim or a passive plaything for their perverse enjoyment. You don’t have to roll over every single time and “play dead” just to “play nice.” If someone repeatedly insists on attacking you for no other reason than they enjoy it, or it fulfills some warped psychological need, then you don’t have to allow them to get bored with you and move on. You are allowed to “sever their head.” Read the laws. Follow the rules … but take that head and hold it in your hand for all to see.
Please watch this testimonial: