The End of My Personal Heroine’s Journey: the Teaching Story

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Today marks the end of a “Heroine’s Journey” that I’ve been on for almost 2 years through a dark time of harassment, attack and slander. Thanks to a very mystical experience that I had yesterday alongside 2 dear friends, I’ve finished a personal journey of self-discovery that has shown me that I’m NOT a victim, but certainly a heroine who has had to battle a human monster.

1. There are some very real human monsters in the world right now who are adept at twisting reality with lies, but this is their only talent.

2. These monsters are addicted to using lies, intimidation and manipulation because it is the only way that they can feel validated … because they lack the creative talent required to be celebrated as artists … or the intellect to be acknowledged as scientists or scholars … or the heart to be loved because they are loving.

scary-588939_960_7203. These human monsters hide in plain sight pretending to be what they are not, living a lie behind fake credentials, plagiarism and cruelty justified by the foundation of lies that they have created.

4. Once exposed they will retaliate by trying to destroy the truly talented, the genuinely educated and intellectual, without conscience.

5. They usually have multiple victims throughout the years because their lies are easily discovered so they must constantly strive to destroy anyone who can expose them so that they can maintain the status quo.

6. Their egos are ravenous monsters that must continually be fed with the distress of innocent people.

7. They are driven to destroy because they cannot create or they despise their own creations. They are driven to destroy by the instinct for self-preservation because if they are exposed their inauthentic “selves” will die.

In my case fighting this monster in a very public battle has made me stretch outside of my comfort zone to become what the monster pretends to be.  For 2 years I have been the “mirror” to this modern day Dorian Gray and this starving incubus of insecurity and self loathing despises me because I force her to look at herself in the mirror. And inside that mirror she sees herself for the pathetic monster that she is.I’m sharing this with you because I’ve gone through it and come back with a few insights. I have been transformed and returned from my quest with a teaching story. I have suffered in order to be able to tell you this story with humility and authenticity. I have suffered so that I can empathize with you as you go on your own personal trials. I have earned the right to be able to tell you how to survive this because I have done it myself. In telling you this story I am telling you your own story and how you can rise above your own situation because I am not stronger than you, or better than you. The only thing I have that you don’t is experience. And my experience qualifies me to teach you with insight and empathy … so you that can be healed instead of hurt. asphalt-1851281_960_720

The mirror that that I am offering you is a rear view mirror in which to see what you have left behind so that you will know how far you’ve come. I want you to be proud of what you have survived. I want you to be optimistic about how far you can go. I am here to remind you that your life and your journey is a work in progress. All of this has happened because when I tell you that it’s going to be alright you can believe me without any doubt.

I believe in you Lauren. Believe in yourself. It’s going to be alright. xoxoxoxo

 

Coping with the Challenges of the Venus Retrograde: It’s not all about Love. Venus is also the Goddess of Cash.

14212004_10154497635930842_4731063091581144274_nAs many of you know, I am a Kashmir Shaivist. My daily practice includes mantra and mediation. Before then I studied various forms of a occultism and witchery and think of myself as a witch when the room demands a “broom.” Venus Retrograde has given me a unique set of challenges because I am a triple Libra, which means that Venus is all over my astrological chart. In preparation I had the pleasure of interviewing astrologer James David Wade – the Pisces Prince, who offered me some very good insights on my weekly radio show  with Tony Sokol , Magick Lab Academy on the SOC Radio Network. He cautioned me that reevaluating my relationships would be bumpy but necessary. Likewise, Venus, the Goddess of Cash Flow would also challenge me to think outside the box in order to maintain the momentum that began with my prediction that “Moonlight” would win best picture on the EXTRA Weekend Edition.

For a Hindu Laxshmi is the “go-to” Goddess of Prosperity and Fortune. After meditating upon her for a time before the Venus Retrograde I was advised to clean up my house from top to bottom in order to get my money mojo back which had been slacking despite the fact that I’ve got at least 7 current stories including Moi on Google News. What I discovered during a 3 day marathon of cleaning is that my puppy, the fabulous Vampire Chihuahua, Fifi, had created a doggy den of iniquity with dirty underwear and pee right underneath my bed! Once I found this energetic black hole in my bedroom the energy shifted and things got back to normal.  When I mentioned this to James he congratulated me on following the advice that he was ready to give me himself, which was clean up – EVERYTHING.

But, cleaning was not enough. Unknown to many people outside Hinduism who worship and invoke Laxshmi, she has an older sister/twin who is also the Goddess of Poverty and Loss. Alaxshmi travels with her sister and on some occasions balances the boon granted by Laxshmi with tragedy that evens the karmic score almost instantaneously. Remember the stories of the Lottery Winners who lose their spouses and eventually all their money through spending and excess?  For me that is a good example of the saying, “The Goddess giveth and the Goddess taketh away.” So, the first thing I did before doing my 3 day marathon cleaning for Laxshmi was erect an outdoor altar to Alaxshmi who in many traditions is Laxshmi’s owl.

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I created this altar for Alaxshmi right outside our front door so that when I invoke Laxshmi her sister has an equally beautiful altar OUTSIDE our house which she can relax and enjoy so that poverty stays outside which prosperity and good fortune come inside to an immaculate place. Alaxshmi likes things that are sour and spicy so I gave her lemons and red chilis. 3 days after I made Alaxshmi her own altar, my little witchy house was booked as a location for  the tv show, “Crime Watch Daily,” and I even got to re-enact the role of Rachel Lee, a master criminal gypsy con artist. Even so, Laxshmi continues to challenge me to push myself far outside of my comfort zone and I now have a new live chat show on the North American Psychic and Paranormal Network.

To read my article in the Bodhi Tree Blog click HERE.

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You see, I foolishly believed that since I’m very happy in my current relationship that the worst part of Venus Retrograde would be deflecting the unwanted advances of an ex or two and sorting out relationship issues. What has emerged is the re-evaluation and restructuring of my business. I no longer do readings at Mystic Journey Bookstore because sadly it now takes me 2 hours to get there in traffic and possibly another 2 1/2 hours to get home. I am also hesitant to join another online psychic talk line because I’m over giving the lion’s share of my earnings over while they “decide” how much of my hard earned money I deserve to get for myself. Meanwhile, I noticed that one psychic line had my photo used on every single one of their promos, but I had unwittingly signed over the rights to my image. So, although my face was the cornerstone of a huge campaign I got nothing … zero … The seasoned PR girl in me was gnashing her teeth at how much I just “gave away.” Today, I am building my business online from my own home studio which I have outfitted with some really good equipment. I make my own promo videos, book my own photo shoots, program my own shows and bank 98% of my take on readings. I have to admit that doing this all on my own is scary right now, but Laxshmi has pushed me towards being more independent and so I bow to her and surrender my fate. Jai Laxshmi. Jai Alaxshmi. Jai Shakti. You have taught me, “Shakti gives no fucks.”

To book a reading with me with phone, skype or chat go to http://www.mariebargas.com.