The Quality of Mercy – Don’t Judge the Victims of Natural Disasters

PORTIA (Merchant of Venice/Shakespeare)

The quality of mercy is not strained.
It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven
Upon the place beneath. It is twice blessed:
It blesseth him that gives and him that takes.
‘Tis mightiest in the mightiest. It becomes
The thronèd monarch better than his crown.
His scepter shows the force of temporal power,
The attribute to awe and majesty
Wherein doth sit the dread and fear of kings,
But mercy is above this sceptered sway.
It is enthronèd in the hearts of kings.
It is an attribute to God himself.
And earthly power doth then show likest God’s
When mercy seasons justice.

Today, as I read the updates on hurricanes Irma and Harvey I was mortified to read that some people were vigorously attributing these natural disasters to God’s way of cleansing the Earth and punishing the wicked. I normally avoid commenting on spiritual matters, but this is an exception. Natural disasters are the result of the imbalances in the Earth ecosystems that we have caused by polluting our environment and mistreating our planet. For example, this is the first time ever that 3 hurricanes: Harvey, Irma and now Jose have existed concurrently during hurricane season. If you want to say that Global Warming is a curse I’ll have to agree with you on that, but this curse was definitely self inflicted.

gali-bti-poor-dogs-abandoned-during-floods-3-59a3d8bdc9bf2__700Likewise, if you want to say the people who have denied their brothers and sisters shelter during the storm are wicked, or that the people who carelessly tied defenseless animals to trees are evil; I’ll agree with that … but by and large the people who were displaced and are suffering because of these natural disasters are not for you, or me or anyone else to judge. I have seen some horrible, demeaning, self-aggrandizing comments about “God’s Judgement” on social media and I am appalled at the lack of humanity that some people wave like bright banners in the wind.

As we begin to rebuild after these disasters the critics and naysayers of the victims both human and animal should be ashamed of themselves for their incredible self-righteous indignation.

 

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Sansa Stark: My Favorite Anti-Heroine Returns to GOT with a Vengeance

Sansa-StarkSince last season’s post, “Pop Tarot: Sansa Stark is the Queen of Swords,” I have awaited the return of Sophie Turner in this iconic role with bated breath. Sansa’s evolution from pampered princess to the Queen of the North has been fraught with the trials and tribulations that I can relate to all too well.

In the days following the broadcast I have come to identify with Sansa more and more because frankly we’ve been down the same road.  I too have been orphaned, abused and twisted the subtle ways that life and pain can twist you in order to give you the sinister coping skills to survive. Nevertheless,  I assure you my enemies often refer to me as a gorgeous monster.

x-men-apocalypse-poster-jean-grey-sophie-turner-375x600While my besties revel in the triumph of Gal Gadot’s WONDER WOMAN, I find the Amazonian Princess a bit to “white lightey” for my taste and hunger for the dark queen witch bitch that I hope to see Sansa ascend to … perhaps even the iron throne. Dani has the unfair advantage of having dragons after all. Meanwhile, Sophie Turner has already done an impressive turn as the fiery X-Man Jean Grey/the Phoenix.  Gadot has alot to learn about navigating through Hollywood and I hope she does well. Turner has already done it. I like Sophie.

As we count down to Season 7 of GOT I see the number 7 in magickal terms.

7 is a ‘magical’ vibration and is the number of the occultist and the esoteric. 7’s are secretive, mysterious, stand-offish, intuitive and introspective. An unworldly attitude means most 7’s need to be ‘protected’. The 7 vibration represents rest, contemplation, spirituality, sensitivity, sympathy and mastery. 7 is a number of the ‘mind’. 

As a magickal practicioner my fave outcome would be for Sansa to become a witch to challenge the Red Priestess in a to the death magickal war… Red Head vs. Red Witch in a knock down drag out magickael maelstrom. (sigh)

 

The End of My Personal Heroine’s Journey: the Teaching Story

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Today marks the end of a “Heroine’s Journey” that I’ve been on for almost 2 years through a dark time of harassment, attack and slander. Thanks to a very mystical experience that I had yesterday alongside 2 dear friends, I’ve finished a personal journey of self-discovery that has shown me that I’m NOT a victim, but certainly a heroine who has had to battle a human monster.

1. There are some very real human monsters in the world right now who are adept at twisting reality with lies, but this is their only talent.

2. These monsters are addicted to using lies, intimidation and manipulation because it is the only way that they can feel validated … because they lack the creative talent required to be celebrated as artists … or the intellect to be acknowledged as scientists or scholars … or the heart to be loved because they are loving.

scary-588939_960_7203. These human monsters hide in plain sight pretending to be what they are not, living a lie behind fake credentials, plagiarism and cruelty justified by the foundation of lies that they have created.

4. Once exposed they will retaliate by trying to destroy the truly talented, the genuinely educated and intellectual, without conscience.

5. They usually have multiple victims throughout the years because their lies are easily discovered so they must constantly strive to destroy anyone who can expose them so that they can maintain the status quo.

6. Their egos are ravenous monsters that must continually be fed with the distress of innocent people.

7. They are driven to destroy because they cannot create or they despise their own creations. They are driven to destroy by the instinct for self-preservation because if they are exposed their inauthentic “selves” will die.

In my case fighting this monster in a very public battle has made me stretch outside of my comfort zone to become what the monster pretends to be.  For 2 years I have been the “mirror” to this modern day Dorian Gray and this starving incubus of insecurity and self loathing despises me because I force her to look at herself in the mirror. And inside that mirror she sees herself for the pathetic monster that she is.I’m sharing this with you because I’ve gone through it and come back with a few insights. I have been transformed and returned from my quest with a teaching story. I have suffered in order to be able to tell you this story with humility and authenticity. I have suffered so that I can empathize with you as you go on your own personal trials. I have earned the right to be able to tell you how to survive this because I have done it myself. In telling you this story I am telling you your own story and how you can rise above your own situation because I am not stronger than you, or better than you. The only thing I have that you don’t is experience. And my experience qualifies me to teach you with insight and empathy … so you that can be healed instead of hurt. asphalt-1851281_960_720

The mirror that that I am offering you is a rear view mirror in which to see what you have left behind so that you will know how far you’ve come. I want you to be proud of what you have survived. I want you to be optimistic about how far you can go. I am here to remind you that your life and your journey is a work in progress. All of this has happened because when I tell you that it’s going to be alright you can believe me without any doubt.

I believe in you Lauren. Believe in yourself. It’s going to be alright. xoxoxoxo

 

Kali’s Way: Decapitate the Demon and Wear its Head as an Accessory

320px-kaliposter1940sKali, the Hindu Dark Goddess of Time and Destruction is startling figure of carnage. The gruesome necklace of heads around her neck drips blood onto her bare breasts as she stands poised for battle or for a carnal embrace. In the West many misinterpret those heads as human. But in actuality they are the heads of demons that she has slain. Her unabashed sense of self has always had a great appeal, especially nowadays to a new generation of women who refuse to be silenced, held back or held down. But in my case, my peers still struggle to rein me in every now and then when I can’t contain my righteous anger. Throughout my own life I have suffered abuse first as a child and later as an adult. But today abuse seems to have come out of the closet and become the standard bearer for the Patriarchy as it begins to struggle in very public death throes around the world. Remember  the remark about “pussy grabbing” that was almost dismissed as “locker room talk?” This is the Patriarchal tactic of invoking the myth that women actually want to be “pussy grabbed” by rich, entitled white men. As I recall it didn’t go over well, did it?

Mea culpa. When Fox News in Chicago reported that Angela Ferguson grabbed a beer stein and fought off her attacker (rapist)  I experienced a new kind of “feels” that I identify as “power.”

“When I kept hitting him, hitting him, he wouldn’t give up. He wouldn’t give up. I kept beating him, and seen blood everywhere. They say he had to have three surgeries on his head,” Ferguson said.

Somehow Ferguson pushed Grice out of her room, but she said he broke the door down and got back in. That’s when she grabbed a crowbar from under her bed and fought him off once and for all.

I’ve been molested and so let me make something perfectly clear, if I had  the opportunity to fight off my molester with a crow bar I may have suffered more physical harm, but the emotional toll would have been far less. In fact if I had the opportunity to bash in his head in self defense I guarantee you that I would have slept soundly that night. Because I’m a woman I already know that some of you are cringing with distaste at my confession, but I’d like to tell my sisters out there who have been raped or molested that wanting to beat down the ass of your rapist/attacker is perfectly normal. And please don’t tell me that being molested doesn’t warrant a proper head bashing. It’s not going to work.

In fact it’s much healthier if you embrace it and accept it instead of internalizing some missed placed guilt over it being “your fault.” This is what I identify as “Decapitating the Demons.” Accept the fact that you want blood, revenge and retribution. Do something pro-active. Buy a gun and learn how to use it responsibly. Take a class in martial arts and self defense. Put cameras up around your home. Carry a stun gun or pepper spray  in your purse. Don’t just roll over and take it. You don’t have to accept the cultural brainwashing that we must submit to being victims in order to be “good” people. I would not “turn the other cheek” if a rapist’s cock was being shoved up my ass. Would you?

I have my own “necklace of demon heads” and I add a new one every couple of years. I’mhead not proud of it, but I’m also not ashamed of it. It is there to remind me that I cannot rely on someone else, the police, the government a boyfriend or even a stranger to protect me. And there’s something more. In Kali’s hand she holds her newest severed head without shame, and without malice. She just holds it and we can see it’s frightened eyes. Think of it as a “deterrent.”

Listen carefully now.

It’s okay for people to know that you are not someone who is going to be an easy target, a willing victim or a passive plaything for their perverse enjoyment. You don’t have to roll over every single time and “play dead” just to “play nice.” If someone repeatedly insists on attacking you for no other reason than they enjoy it, or it fulfills some warped psychological need, then  you don’t have to allow them to get bored with you and move on. You are allowed to “sever their head.” Read the laws. Follow the rules … but take that head and hold it in your hand for all to see.

Please watch this testimonial:

10 Minute Magick: Simple Ways to Bind Abusive Behavior

In the aftermath of the election reports of incidents or racism, sexism and bigotry are rising at an alarming rate. Just this week a woman told me to “pack my bags” if I didn’t like Trump, implying that I should go back to the Philippines. She then went on to say that I was in for a “big surprise” which I took as meaning that racism would be more widely accepted and supported by the government and by law enforcement. Her veiled threats made me cringe.

I’m a naturalized citizen who speaks 3 languages, graduated from the Claremont Colleges, is gainfully employed and enthusiastic about volunteering for social causes. Somehow in her home in rural Ohio she first friended me because she thought I as interesting, but now she thinks that she can openly judge me and “my kind” without fear because the “Trump Effect” has made racism and bigotry fashionable.

Meanwhile, one of my gay friends was sad to report that he was shamed publicly for being gay on his way to work at a beauty salon. In the worst case a friend just shared that her daughter who was raped by her father is still being forced by social services to see her rapist on scheduled visits. Obviously, the government and law enforcement is failing to address these and other issues. The reasons are too many to mention. So, we as private citizens have to literally “fend for ourselves” when it comes to our personal protection.

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Ice Box or Freezer Spells come primarily from the Hoodoo Magickal Tradition. According to ConjureDoctor.com

“Hoodoo (also known as rootwork) is Southern folk magic grounded in centuries of African American heritage within the southern United States. Hoodoo is often known by other names including: conjure, rootwork, root doctoring, laying tricks, working roots or doing the “work”. It is important to note, that contrary to what some authors may write in their books, Hoodoo is NOT Voodoo (Vodou). Hoodoo blends together the magical technology of Congo slaves that were taken from Africa in the slave trade, combined with Native American herbal knowledge, bits of European folk magic and Jewish mysticism.”

The Freezer Binding:  

Basic: This popular method of binding is quick and easy. The name of the abuser is written on a piece of paper and frozen in a ziploc bag filled with water.

Extra Ingredients in the Water: In special cases other ingredients are added to the water including alum, vinegar or even urine.

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Nine Names: Another method is to write the abuser’s name on a piece of paper 9 times. The paper is then folded 9 times and wrapped with a black thread or yarn 9 times before it is frozen. For added “oomph” I put a pinch of salt and a pinch of alum on the paper before folding it up and wrapping it tightly with a black thread.

Garlic: Another method is to crush a glove of garlic with your fist while thinking of the abuser. Rub that glove of garlic on the paper with the names of the abuser 13 times pushing the clove away from you.

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To Discourage Sexual Harassment: I put alum and salt in the water and if the binding is to discourage sexual harassment, I also put in 3 pinches of Salt Peter which traditionally is supposed to cause impotence.

Karma:

If these spells are used for self defense then the karmic debt is minimal if you are mindful of your intent.

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Please watch this testimonial:

 

Dear Diary, Mercury Retrograde Ended Another Cycle of the Ugly Duckling Thanks to Sarasvati

Dear Diary,

swan-1639154_960_720Ever since childhood I have loved and connected with the fairy tale The Ugly Duckling by Danish Author Hans Christian Anderson because through the years it has been a recurring pattern in my life. As a child I was bullied because I was much smaller than the other kids and had to learn English because I had just arrived from the Philippines. By the end of grade school I had become an honor student. In my teens I blossomed from a plump fifteen year old into a stunning college freshman in just two short years. Later, in my professional life I rose from an intern at a PR firm to the in-house PR for a Beverly Hills couture accessory designer. This past decade was the longest I have ever had to reinvent myself, but this year after 8 years in a stunted relationship I left and embarked on yet another new life even though I’m no longer a Spring Chicken.

depression-501319_640In order to survive after the crash of 2008 I had to reinvent myself as a professional psychic because frankly no one was buying hand bags at $2,000 a pop. It was a fun 15 years of fashion, excess and glamour that left me fairly spoiled. In those days I did what I wanted when I wanted. I bought far too many shoes and hand bags. And during a time when I was easily getting $10,000 a season in free swag, goodies and trips I never thought about saving for a rainy day. And then suddenly, the crash brought all of that to a screeching halt. An entire way of life evaporated and in its place was the challenge to find a new way or leave LA to eek out a new living in a small town.

I was fortunate because at the time I thought I had found my true love. I believed with all my heart that love would conquer all and I could be satisfied with a little psychic business and a charming little apartment in the Valley with two dogs. For the first couple of years I reveled in the stability and the constant love and affection. Those years were truly happy and I don’t regret any of them. But, like all good dreams that too came to an end as the the relationship became confining and my partner was struck with a melancholy that would eventually destroy him. Let’s just say that story belongs to him to tell.

swan-1255467_640For the past several months I’ve been through the ringer. First I was called a “whore” for leaving an 8 year relationship even though I had my reasons. I was stalked by a troll who was determined to destroy me for rejecting her both sexually and professionally and I was misjudged and misunderstood by many people who would rather look at a woman in transition and turn away because women around here have “expiration dates.”  If I had not been somewhat attractive I would have been completely invisible because the sad truth is that our society doesn’t champion women. And furthermore when I shared my plans, some people who didn’t even know me or my capabilities told me that I was delusional. I believe that this is always because people are completely oblivious to talent if they are not talented themselves. Why?  My creative friends who are at the tops of their fields motivated me to keep doing what I was doing because they could feel that I was going to “pop.”  Today, I can say with some certainty that my reinvention is complete. I have become someone else. I have become someone more. I have become someone new.

 

It is no coincidence that for months now I have been meditating on the Swan or Hamsa of Sarasvati. For me Sarasvati the Hindu Goddess of Wisdom and Music is the mystical compass through which I always find my way. She is the one who dictated the Vedas and is responsible for “Vak” or Divine Speech. Hers is the Voice inside my head that directs me when I am doing readings. It is her genius that moves all my good ideas, my best writing, my creative style … I give honor to this particular Shakti because the consort of Brahma is ever the spark of creation.

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Loving Lucifer: the Perils of a Demon Lover – with quotes from novelist Josephine Hart (‘Damage’)

220px-damageposterWhen I was in my teens and so in love with love that my heart was broken almost every other day, I stumbled upon a novel that gave such an intense poetic nuance and substance to my pain that I still refer to it after all these years. From Wikipedia:

 

Damage is a 1991 novel by Josephine Hart about a British politician who, in the prime of life, causes his own downfall through an inappropriate relationship. It was adapted into a film of the same title by Louis Malle in 1992, as well as into an opera (calledDamage, an opera in seven meals) by Greek composer Kharálampos Goyós in 2004.

Today I am lost in a haze of sadness. Today I recognized the symptoms of alcoholism and denial resurface in my blue eyed, golden haired fallen angel like a shark’s fin in the ocean close to a group of unsuspecting swimmers. I remember the screams, the blood, the floating bits of heart flesh that come bubbling up in an otherwise blue ocean of dreams soon after that fin surfaces. My heart refuses to feel that pain again so it goes into an automated process of shutting down and raising shields. As it is, that spiritual shark is circling around the closed underwater dome of my heart, but that dome is not merely closed, it is armed with torpedoes that could turn that shark of a man into sashimi.

There was a full moon in the starless sky. I thought how rarely I had noticed such things. Some deep failure of the soul perhaps. An inherited emptiness. A nothingness passed from generation to generation. A flaw in the psyche, discovered only by those who suffer by it. JOSEPHINE HART – DAMAGE

I could have his soul for breakfast and that particular meal wouldn’t make me anything other that a wise woman tired of going through the same old shit. Souls like his have holes like Swiss Cheese and add a flare to a ham sandwich. I like my souls on sour dough bread with a thin film of Miracle Whip Light mixed with some Honey Dijon Mustard. I’ll have that with a Mimosa and carry on as if nothing happened.

That is my story, simply told. Please do not ask again. I have told you in order to issue a warning. I have been damaged. Damaged people are dangerous. They know they can survive. JOSEPHINE HART – DAMAGE

Like the doomed affair in  Damage our relationship is obviously fraught with danger because I am the adult child of an alcoholic and he is once again plunged into the depths of his disease. And yet, love draws us together as it has over 18 years. But as big girls know … love is never enough … it just makes it hurt even more than it could.

I always recognize the foces that will shape my life. I let them do their work. Sometimes they tear through my life like a hurricane. Sometimes they simply shift the ground under me, so that I stand on different earth, and something or someone has been swallowed up. I steady myself, in the earthquate. I lie down, and let the hurricane pass over me. I never fight. Afterwards I look around me, and I say, ‘Ah, so this at least is left for me. And that dear person has also survived.’ I quietly inscribe on the stone tablet of my heart the name which has gone forever. Th inscription is a thing of agony. Then I start on my way again. JOSEPHINE HART – DAMAGE

This is a karmic soul connection of epic proportions. He is not my twin who is ultimately more understanding but ever so unattainable. He is the fallen angel, the demon lover whose inner demons have trampled across the delicate pathways of my psyche because I have let him … I have welcomed him back every single time … because “I’m  Just a Sucker for Pain.”