The End of My Personal Heroine’s Journey: the Teaching Story

d15878fa9a9a987d764d7dcaf25c606b

Today marks the end of a “Heroine’s Journey” that I’ve been on for almost 2 years through a dark time of harassment, attack and slander. Thanks to a very mystical experience that I had yesterday alongside 2 dear friends, I’ve finished a personal journey of self-discovery that has shown me that I’m NOT a victim, but certainly a heroine who has had to battle a human monster.

1. There are some very real human monsters in the world right now who are adept at twisting reality with lies, but this is their only talent.

2. These monsters are addicted to using lies, intimidation and manipulation because it is the only way that they can feel validated … because they lack the creative talent required to be celebrated as artists … or the intellect to be acknowledged as scientists or scholars … or the heart to be loved because they are loving.

scary-588939_960_7203. These human monsters hide in plain sight pretending to be what they are not, living a lie behind fake credentials, plagiarism and cruelty justified by the foundation of lies that they have created.

4. Once exposed they will retaliate by trying to destroy the truly talented, the genuinely educated and intellectual, without conscience.

5. They usually have multiple victims throughout the years because their lies are easily discovered so they must constantly strive to destroy anyone who can expose them so that they can maintain the status quo.

6. Their egos are ravenous monsters that must continually be fed with the distress of innocent people.

7. They are driven to destroy because they cannot create or they despise their own creations. They are driven to destroy by the instinct for self-preservation because if they are exposed their inauthentic “selves” will die.

In my case fighting this monster in a very public battle has made me stretch outside of my comfort zone to become what the monster pretends to be.  For 2 years I have been the “mirror” to this modern day Dorian Gray and this starving incubus of insecurity and self loathing despises me because I force her to look at herself in the mirror. And inside that mirror she sees herself for the pathetic monster that she is.I’m sharing this with you because I’ve gone through it and come back with a few insights. I have been transformed and returned from my quest with a teaching story. I have suffered in order to be able to tell you this story with humility and authenticity. I have suffered so that I can empathize with you as you go on your own personal trials. I have earned the right to be able to tell you how to survive this because I have done it myself. In telling you this story I am telling you your own story and how you can rise above your own situation because I am not stronger than you, or better than you. The only thing I have that you don’t is experience. And my experience qualifies me to teach you with insight and empathy … so you that can be healed instead of hurt. asphalt-1851281_960_720

The mirror that that I am offering you is a rear view mirror in which to see what you have left behind so that you will know how far you’ve come. I want you to be proud of what you have survived. I want you to be optimistic about how far you can go. I am here to remind you that your life and your journey is a work in progress. All of this has happened because when I tell you that it’s going to be alright you can believe me without any doubt.

I believe in you Lauren. Believe in yourself. It’s going to be alright. xoxoxoxo

 

Sometimes Isolation is Best Way to Achieve Your “Authentic” Vibration

rain-1570854_960_720

Being an empath and a psychic in today’s chaotic mess of a world has challenges all it’s own. I never really examined them out of necessity because for 8 years I lived with a hoarder (my ex boyfriend) and had a brief stint with an OCD ( room mate).  In order to survive the energies I had to go into a state of denial just to be able to achieve some level of happiness and that all by itself if a skill.  I can make myself happy and positive even in the midst of extreme, prolonged adversity.  But … the energy that it takes to “handle” the barrage of negative overload was so intense that my magick and manifestation skills appeared to be below par. And yet, I was spending hours meditating. Today I realize that when ALL my energies are channeled in one direction and not spread out thin in order to maintain some semblance of “balance,” I can literally manifest whatever I want … but it takes a conscious effort not to waste precious energy on just “keeping it together.”

mural-1347673_960_720For the past two weeks I’ve been consistently letting go of things and people that are not conducive to the type of energy that I want which is strong, free flowing and self-renewing. Moving forced me to throw away a lot of things that I didn’t need. And, financial concerns forced me to cut loose projects and people that appear to be a waste of time with little or no pay off.  There are opportunities and then there are traps that appear as opportunities.  Right now I have no interest in wasting my precious time on traps.

Even good intentions can be squandered by a lack of focus and concentration. And, the truth is I have always had the focus of a laser beam and some people don’t appreciate that until it’s far too late.

After making some major changes that incurred the wrath of people who were either not getting what they wanted from me … or from people who thought that they could “control” me in order to make me “better,” I’ve learned that I am my own guru. Seriously, when I’m free from the opinions, hectic thoughts and random fears of people, I have an internal compass that is very accurate. Furthermore, I think that I have a far better grasp on reality than the people who thought that they knew better. The difference that made them think that I was stupid or delusional is the fact that I didn’t worry or fret which they saw as being “responsible,” but which I see as being a waste. I fix problems … that takes energy … worrying about them and blaming other people takes away from the energy that can be used to fix or cure something.  Once again my laser focus has made me misunderstood, but at this point I don’t care.

This morning I’m vibrating as myself … I feel healthy … confident … and ready to tackle the day without the anxiety that I have discovered that I can absorb from anxious people. By myself I’m calm, cool and collected and I like that.