The Quality of Mercy – Don’t Judge the Victims of Natural Disasters

PORTIA (Merchant of Venice/Shakespeare)

The quality of mercy is not strained.
It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven
Upon the place beneath. It is twice blessed:
It blesseth him that gives and him that takes.
‘Tis mightiest in the mightiest. It becomes
The thronèd monarch better than his crown.
His scepter shows the force of temporal power,
The attribute to awe and majesty
Wherein doth sit the dread and fear of kings,
But mercy is above this sceptered sway.
It is enthronèd in the hearts of kings.
It is an attribute to God himself.
And earthly power doth then show likest God’s
When mercy seasons justice.

Today, as I read the updates on hurricanes Irma and Harvey I was mortified to read that some people were vigorously attributing these natural disasters to God’s way of cleansing the Earth and punishing the wicked. I normally avoid commenting on spiritual matters, but this is an exception. Natural disasters are the result of the imbalances in the Earth ecosystems that we have caused by polluting our environment and mistreating our planet. For example, this is the first time ever that 3 hurricanes: Harvey, Irma and now Jose have existed concurrently during hurricane season. If you want to say that Global Warming is a curse I’ll have to agree with you on that, but this curse was definitely self inflicted.

gali-bti-poor-dogs-abandoned-during-floods-3-59a3d8bdc9bf2__700Likewise, if you want to say the people who have denied their brothers and sisters shelter during the storm are wicked, or that the people who carelessly tied defenseless animals to trees are evil; I’ll agree with that … but by and large the people who were displaced and are suffering because of these natural disasters are not for you, or me or anyone else to judge. I have seen some horrible, demeaning, self-aggrandizing comments about “God’s Judgement” on social media and I am appalled at the lack of humanity that some people wave like bright banners in the wind.

As we begin to rebuild after these disasters the critics and naysayers of the victims both human and animal should be ashamed of themselves for their incredible self-righteous indignation.


The End of My Personal Heroine’s Journey: the Teaching Story


Today marks the end of a “Heroine’s Journey” that I’ve been on for almost 2 years through a dark time of harassment, attack and slander. Thanks to a very mystical experience that I had yesterday alongside 2 dear friends, I’ve finished a personal journey of self-discovery that has shown me that I’m NOT a victim, but certainly a heroine who has had to battle a human monster.

1. There are some very real human monsters in the world right now who are adept at twisting reality with lies, but this is their only talent.

2. These monsters are addicted to using lies, intimidation and manipulation because it is the only way that they can feel validated … because they lack the creative talent required to be celebrated as artists … or the intellect to be acknowledged as scientists or scholars … or the heart to be loved because they are loving.

scary-588939_960_7203. These human monsters hide in plain sight pretending to be what they are not, living a lie behind fake credentials, plagiarism and cruelty justified by the foundation of lies that they have created.

4. Once exposed they will retaliate by trying to destroy the truly talented, the genuinely educated and intellectual, without conscience.

5. They usually have multiple victims throughout the years because their lies are easily discovered so they must constantly strive to destroy anyone who can expose them so that they can maintain the status quo.

6. Their egos are ravenous monsters that must continually be fed with the distress of innocent people.

7. They are driven to destroy because they cannot create or they despise their own creations. They are driven to destroy by the instinct for self-preservation because if they are exposed their inauthentic “selves” will die.

In my case fighting this monster in a very public battle has made me stretch outside of my comfort zone to become what the monster pretends to be.  For 2 years I have been the “mirror” to this modern day Dorian Gray and this starving incubus of insecurity and self loathing despises me because I force her to look at herself in the mirror. And inside that mirror she sees herself for the pathetic monster that she is.I’m sharing this with you because I’ve gone through it and come back with a few insights. I have been transformed and returned from my quest with a teaching story. I have suffered in order to be able to tell you this story with humility and authenticity. I have suffered so that I can empathize with you as you go on your own personal trials. I have earned the right to be able to tell you how to survive this because I have done it myself. In telling you this story I am telling you your own story and how you can rise above your own situation because I am not stronger than you, or better than you. The only thing I have that you don’t is experience. And my experience qualifies me to teach you with insight and empathy … so you that can be healed instead of hurt. asphalt-1851281_960_720

The mirror that that I am offering you is a rear view mirror in which to see what you have left behind so that you will know how far you’ve come. I want you to be proud of what you have survived. I want you to be optimistic about how far you can go. I am here to remind you that your life and your journey is a work in progress. All of this has happened because when I tell you that it’s going to be alright you can believe me without any doubt.

I believe in you Lauren. Believe in yourself. It’s going to be alright. xoxoxoxo



Loving Lucifer: the Perils of a Demon Lover – with quotes from novelist Josephine Hart (‘Damage’) Updated 2/20


man couple people woman
Photo by Gratisography on

When I was in my teens and so in love with love that my heart was broken almost every other day, I stumbled upon a novel that gave such an intense poetic nuance and substance to my pain that I still refer to it after all these years. From Wikipedia:


Damage is a 1991 novel by Josephine Hart about a British politician who, in the prime of life, causes his own downfall through an inappropriate relationship. It was adapted into a film of the same title by Louis Malle in 1992, as well as into an opera (calledDamage, an opera in seven meals) by Greek composer Kharálampos Goyós in 2004.

Today I am lost in a haze of sadness. Today I recognized the symptoms of alcoholism and denial resurface in my blue eyed, golden haired fallen angel like a shark’s fin in the ocean close to a group of unsuspecting swimmers. I remember the screams, the blood, the floating bits of heart flesh that come bubbling up in an otherwise blue ocean of dreams soon after that fin surfaces. My heart refuses to feel that pain again so it goes into an automated process of shutting down and raising shields. As it is, that spiritual shark is circling around the closed underwater dome of my heart, but that dome is not merely closed, it is armed with torpedoes that could turn that shark of a man into sashimi.

There was a full moon in the starless sky. I thought how rarely I had noticed such things. Some deep failure of the soul perhaps. An inherited emptiness. A nothingness passed from generation to generation. A flaw in the psyche, discovered only by those who suffer by it. JOSEPHINE HART – DAMAGE

I could have his soul for breakfast and that particular meal wouldn’t make me anything other that a wise woman tired of going through the same old shit. Souls like his have holes like Swiss Cheese and add a flare to a ham sandwich. I like my souls on sour dough bread with a thin film of Miracle Whip Light mixed with some Honey Dijon Mustard. I’ll have that with a Mimosa and carry on as if nothing happened.

That is my story, simply told. Please do not ask again. I have told you in order to issue a warning. I have been damaged. Damaged people are dangerous. They know they can survive. JOSEPHINE HART – DAMAGE

Like the doomed affair in  Damage our relationship is obviously fraught with danger because I am the adult child of an alcoholic and he is once again plunged into the depths of his disease. And yet, love draws us together as it has over 18 years. But as big girls know … love is never enough … it just makes it hurt even more than it could.

I always recognize the foces that will shape my life. I let them do their work. Sometimes they tear through my life like a hurricane. Sometimes they simply shift the ground under me, so that I stand on different earth, and something or someone has been swallowed up. I steady myself, in the earthquake. I lie down, and let the hurricane pass over me. I never fight. Afterwards I look around me, and I say, ‘Ah, so this at least is left for me. And that dear person has also survived.’ I quietly inscribe on the stone tablet of my heart the name which has gone forever. Th inscription is a thing of agony. Then I start on my way again. JOSEPHINE HART – DAMAGE

This is a karmic soul connection of epic proportions. He is not my twin who is ultimately more understanding but ever so unattainable. He is the fallen angel, the demon lover whose inner demons have trampled across the delicate pathways of my psyche because I have let him … I have welcomed him back every single time … because “I’m  Just a Sucker for Pain.”



Mars Goes Direct – The Stress of His Regard – Victim Shaming

mars-1326108_640 (1)

Little did I know that when Mars went retrograde on April 18 at 4.14am PDT, 7.15am EDT, 12.14pm BST and 9.14pm AEST that my triple Libra sensibilities were going to be tested to the extent that I could either rise … or self-destruct because although Mars is traditionally Venus’ adulterous lover who adores her. But, when in retrograde he can and does tend to brutalize her in retribution for not being able to completely “have” her. As you will see from my account of this time, it was certainly a passive aggressive dance of erotic attraction being punished by shame and the whips & chains of domination as balm for rejection of the mystic masculine that is not “divine,” but twisted, insecure and sexually rejected for being so damn weak. Cruelty is what was offered as replacement for a lack of virility. And the outcome had a make or break quality that could have made me a professional victim, a damaged survivor or something more … a wise woman of the world.

It all started with the break-up of my 8 year relationship. Needless to say we had outgrown each other. After a year of literally no sex replaced by his sporadic threats of suicide, I tried to exit gracefully and failed utterly. You see I have a settlement from a car accident that is about to be paid and he was going to attach a lawsuit to that … until he was advised that he couldn’t. Then he went on to complain about an estimated $40,000 that he had spent on me over the course of 8 years. Um … when that broke down to $13.00 a day (including pussy) he backed off on that track, but not until it was pointed out to him that his peers were laughing at him behind his back. Finally, he has resorted to blaming me for “bankrupting” him with my expensive tastes. Really? $40,000 over 8 years is far less than what I would have garnered had I been a real “gold digger.” I am definitely NOT a gold digger because I WAS messing with a broke nigga. LOL

Next, a supposed “friend” could not keep himself from grabbing at my breasts and trying to stick his hand down my pants during a “moving” day when I was clad in sweats trying to pack boxes. He came to my rescue after he had heard of my break-up and proceeded to try to have sex with me in the back of his car because he assumed that after a year of celibacy he was doing me a favor. It gets worse. After trying to “feel me up” during the move he went after a girl friend of mine that he drove home. She thought she was safe with him because she’s pushing 60. Instead, he tried the same things on her and then turned around and told us that we would NEVER be believed because we weren’t credible because we were psychics and women of color. Reality Check: why would I be even remotely interested in a man who was still living with his parents and could offer me nothing more than sex in the back of the car that his mother gave him?  I am single again, but I’m not desperate.

Right after that, I got served with an order to appear at a hearing in which a gay woman whose advances I have been rejecting for years, was trying to convince a court to slap a restraining on me for harassing her and literally trying to steal her Frisian horse and stuff it in the back of my ’98 Toyota Corolla. That got thrown out for insufficient evidence after an LA Superior Court Judge read her evidence and found it lacking in sufficient proof and comical to boot.  The court clerks who recorded the initial filing told me that they laughed about this particular hearing for days. After the judge dismissed all her allegations her final knife throw was that she did not like anyone contacting her PSYCHIATRIST which had the same effect as the magick word ABRACADABRA. Hint: if you are leveling ridiculous allegations at innocent people, do not protest that you don’t want anybody contacting your psychiatrist. It doesn’t help your case. And, if you are going to write defamatory blogs on me because they are a lot less expensive than paying for an attorney because no attorney is going to argue your bullshit for free, if it at all, then at least do a grammar and spell check and try to come up with a blog that looks like it’s from 2016 and not 2006, when you obviously peaked before you went into a decline that by all accounts sees you circling the drain.

Meanwhile, a black magick magician from India who so graciously offered to destroy my enemies during this time took umbrage at the fact that I refused to send him daily photographs of my vagina along with a sampling of my pubic  hairs for him to use in his “protection” magick. My refusal to do any of that caused him to threaten to curse me. Seeing as how he did not manage to stop me from being “felt up” or having to suffer the barrage of defamatory blogs from the nut case with the horse, I did not think that I was in any immediate danger, so I blocked and deleted him. I think that if I had come out of June with thousands of dollars and had watched my enemies explode like super novas I would have been impressed and feared him, but today… not so much.

Next, a black man posing as a lesbian bisexual woman on SKYPE offered me free Skype time on his bi-curious SKYPE account. When I told him/her I was NOT interested he called me a bitch.  Oh dear, after all that I’d already been through that didn’t even register as a pin prick.

Finally, this morning when I posted my relief at Mars going direct I was accused of being a Venus“man hater” by someone who I enlightened with a small sampling of my back story. Men don’t realize how much the ordinary woman suffers just for being … alive. Really. They have no idea. But as a writer, giving you an entire account of my particular journey is my way of therapeutically exorcising the remaining energy of this time which I hope not to experience again for at least another two years when the next Mars retrograde comes around. Phew.

Here are my suggestions for surviving and thriving through an onslaught such as this:

  1. Recognize victim shaming for what it is. Do not accept the burden that you did something wrong no matter what anyone says.
  2. Be accountable for the things that you did, not what people think that you did. For example, if you are attractive because you work out and watch your weight being attacked for that is ridiculous. Being attractive does not mean that you want negative attention. It means that you are taking care of yourself and predators are attracted to that.
  3. Keep things in perspective. Just because it appears that everyone agrees with your enemies it does not mean that they really do. Being strong and holding your ground and keeping your self-esteem intact is the best way to weather the storm. The truth always comes out eventually.
  4. Do not allow yourself to fall into a depression. Do things that you enjoy. Stimulate your imagination in positive ways. Keep learning.
  5. Respect your emotions and express them. Cry when you have to. Laugh just because you enjoy the pleasure and relief of that feeling. Allow yourself to have joy even in your darkest hours. And love as much as you can, even if it appears that love eludes you because love is the best cure of all.
  6. If you are part of a community of psychics, healers and mystics don’t be afraid to ask for assistance, for help, encouragement and empowerment.
  7. Allow yourself to accept love from the right places: your friends, your pets, your colleagues and kind strangers who are paying it forward and not looking to use you.


I am available for readings at:

Mystic Journey Bookstore

1625 Abbot Kinney Blvd.

Venice, CA 90291

Mondays, Fridays and Sundays

11:00 pm – 3:30 pm

Call 310.399.7070

Or click this click here to book online.

Or you can contact me directly at: